Until you dig a hole, you plant a tree, you water it and make it survive, you haven’t done a thing. You are just talking. -Wangari Muta Maathai, activist and Nobel laureate (b. 1940)
Set your timer for at least 30 minutes. Begin with this prompt: I’m done talking about you…. For those of you new to Breakthrough Writing: Write the prompt sentence and keep your pen moving without stopping. Write anything that comes out of you As always, you can honor you, me and your writing by sending me what you have written. Easiest to bstarr67@gmail.com
Carole Milstead sent us this in response to an earlier prompt. Thank you, sister.
I was hundreds of miles from my destination. I’d taken what I thought was the right turn. It wasn’t….I am so far off course, it’s not funny. I let go of my Tai Chi School and came south to help my brother, Wally, recover from his stroke. I thought that my blahs were from being either relieved that he survived a rare type stroke. One that the blood clots go through the brain stem taking away such things as balance, memory, swallowing and a myriad of other bodily functions. Or was I stressed, now that I was beginning to realize the enormity of the job ahead. I am a Tai Chi teacher, sometimes writer but not a nurse. Nor am I his mother. I am simply his sister who believes that family should rally when there is a time of need. Imagine my disappointment when I found out that our younger brother did not find this to be a factor in his life and walked away. He had his own life and new wife. He does not have time to help Wally, at this time. Full responsibility fell on my shoulders.
Now, I get to be a caretaker. I get to take care of him and his house. I get to do all the things he is unable to do. I get to drive him where he needs to go. Now, it seems I have to be a gardener. I don’t particularly like to garden. To me it is very stressful. Worry about weeds and all kinds of insect problems is not peaceful to me. I get to do his laundry and clean up after him. It is like caring for a 65 year old toddler. One that comes with temper tantrums. One of the ramifications of his stroke is not being able to deal with stress and the slightest thing will set his fit throwing into action. I have learned and quite quickly, not to take these personally. Even so, they interrupt my thought of the moment.
It seems to me like I had to put my hopes and dreams on hold. But now, I have decided that I do not. I claimed mornings as my time. I am a Tai Chi practitioner. So, I get up early and do the forms. I use my mornings for my writing and photography lessons as well as Tai Chi. Doctor offices call and say they want Wally in their office at a certain day and time. I tell them, it has to be an afternoon appointment. Some of them act like how dare I tell them…but I do.
I look in the rear view mirror and see that it was my mistake to take on all of this alone. I should have insisted that my younger brother take some responsibility in this too. I can see where old family patterns emerge and how they still affect me. I believe that is what is causing all the all this swirling fog in my mind. And I am bound and determined to clear it out.
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