Beat the R-Virus*: Breakthrough Tip for the week of 6/15/2015

*The R-Virus is fear of rejection.  images-2You know the symptoms. That hollow ache in the gut if you even think about writing. The voices in your mind muttering, “Why bother?” Breaking into a nasty sweat when you sit down to write. You’ve got the R-virus: Fear of Rejectionaphobia. Any writer who is serious about her or his work is headed for an encounter (or dozens of encounters – I know from experience) with the R-virus.

Our relationship with our writing often mirrors our relationship with our lives. If your childhood was marked by painful rejection – from any element of the world around you – rejection can be the biggest block to your writing. At the worst, you stop before you even pick up the pen. “There’s no point. I have nothing new to say. No-one will read my words.” If you push past those symptoms, the R-virus tells you not to bother reading or showing your work to others. And submitting work? Forget it.

Here’s the bad news: There is no magic pharmaceutical that can take down the R-virus.

Here’s the good news: You are the healer. You can begin by seducing the R-Virus. Tell it you are writing it a love letter. Tell it you’ll let it win. (Let’s face it, you’ve probably spent more time with the R-Virus then any other partner.) Sneak up to your notebook and begin: Oh my dearest most amazing darling, R. Set the timer for 5 minutes and keep going. This works best writing by hand, not on the computer.

Set your timer for another five minutes and be the R-Virus writing back. That may give some clues to why you succumb to its poison. If not, keep the exchange going. Five minutes you; five minutes the R-virus. Feel free to send me what you discover. We are all in this together.

Thank you, Heather von Bargen for responding to Anjana’s words about what happened when she Stopped. This is how we build a true community, not just a buzzword!

Mary, I loved what Anjana had to say and am so impressed with her openness. It helped me too, as I was in a string of days when it seemed like I could not articulate anything.     As one who meditates, I enjoyed reading about her stopping.
     Your words helped immensely: “One of the most difficult realities for any writer to accept is that we serve the writing. It doesn’t serve us. And, it can come and go at will. That doesn’t absolve us of the responsibility to be faithful to it!”   I’m not sure I completely understand yet, but that gave me the freedom to sit at my computer and try.
     Today, I cranked out my first draft of the Matador Assignment with which I was struggling.   With less regard to refinement than usual, and it helped. Tomorrow, I can refine it. Perhaps the perfect words will find their way tomorrow.         For today, I just needed a draft.  

With much appreciation, Heather von Bargen

Please begin treatment for the R-Virus. Kick out a draft and send it to us – any topic, and style.  Thank you, m

 

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