If you’ve wondered how I work as a Mentor – my student, Frost McGahey reveals all…

I work in as many different ways with students/writers as there are stories. Here is Frost’s take on our work together:

Recommendation for Mary Sojourner

I hired Mary to edit line-by-line my 400 page book Shakespeare and the Mystery of Richard III.  I thought my novel was in good shape, but needed help in getting it to the next stage to send to literary agents.  Obviously I was delusional as I Iook back at all the work Mary had me do.  Here are the many ways she helped:


  1. She’d point out that the motivation of a character didn’t make sense. While the reason may have seemed apparent to me, I hadn’t put it down on the page.
  2. Gaps in the plot. The full story was in my head, but not on the page.
  3. I’d neglected to show important scenes and instead only told about them.
  4. Don’t tell – Show. Relates to above, but also applies to character’s feelings and the reaction of others to their actions.
  5. She was murder on trite phrases and clichés. She could spot them a mile away.
  6. She made me rework awkward or confusing sentences or jokes only I thought were funny.
  7. When I did write well, she noticed and praised me.

It was hard work that was ultimately worth it.  I would recommend Mary Sojourner to anyone who wants to raise their writing several levels.  Your end result is a  well-written piece that you can take pride in.

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