For much of my life, mornings have been hard. I got a reprieve at Shady Acres for a while – and for a while, in the Mojave. Drinking real caffeinated coffee outside in the early morning was a major contributing factor to treasuring mornings. I remember falling asleep in the little cabin in Shady Acres happy knowing that when I woke, I’d get to take my coffee to the back deck or the rocking chair in front of the woodstove to say my morning meditation: “For the furthering of all sentient beings; and the protection of earth, air and water.”
I hate not loving my mornings. I can no longer drink real coffee. Cataracts have made sitting outside in daylight not possible. Aging changes are eating away at my joy in life. I still say the meditation. It still feels both necessary and right.
I miss feeling hope. I miss feeling that I was part of making change that was good for the planet, good for humans who needed it.
So, I comment on-line and send money when I have some. And, I am deliberately patient with store clerks and other service workers.
Right now, that doesn’t feel like enough.
Last night I realized that the world I live in outside of my home has changed drastically – perhaps in ways that haven’t occurred prior to the arrival of the internet and cell phones. Even in this moment, I write this on my phone – and will send to myself and a few trusted friends through email.
And you? How are these times for you? love, me
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